Kanchi Varadhar Thiru Avathara Uthsavam(1)

      I  was married into this traditional Iyengar family in 1976  September.  Even 8 months later  I was still living with my parents. My husband was stationed in Bombay and he was the one trying for transfer back to Madras. 😅. 

          

             Grandma in law and he wrote to me that since their family temple function at Kanchi was nearing I had to attend it alone . They would not be able to come down as it was impossible to get leave. 

             So I caught a bus at Broadway  early morning  of the Sri Devaraja Swami Thiru Avathara Uthsavam day in  April.    Minimum jewellery , heeding   my own Amma’s hyper caution messages . Cotton saree , as it is the month of Chithirai and you cannot expect any sea breeze at Kancheepuram. 

                Only person I recognise there  is Pankajimami , wife of Thiru Dasarathi,   priest at the  Thuppul Desigar Sannidhi.  This couple live here and are caretakers of the old ancestral  bungalow. After my marriage we had made a flying courtesy call on Varadhar. 

                  So I made a beeline to Pankaji Mami in that crowd . One look at me and her face became contemptuous. காதுல இந்த வளையத்தையும் , ஒரு நூல் புடவையும் சுத்தி உங்கம்மா அனுபிச்சிட்டாளா ? My first reaction was extreme anger. Who was this woman to question my choices? 

                    She took me to the right side portion of the bungalow. The side which was Jayamma ‘s family side . She had been given strict instructions to take me to that side. One look at that crowd and I felt like the beggar’s maid😅.  Rustling  new heavy silks, flashing diamonds, fistful of chains !! Okay go and change  your dress they said. What do I change into ? 😅

                      Then a lady from the other side called out to me . Come and have coffee.  She introduced herself as the wife of my father in law’s cousin Mr Desigan.  Sundari mami. She called her daughters and introduced me to them.  This  is the family that inherited the Nungambakkam house from Jayamma’s eldest step brother. The earth tilted and   balanced itself back.  . All of them were just as  quietly dressed as  me.😅 Here are your parents in law they said and in came my father in law and step mother in law  from Ayanavaram. 

                      From then on it was a tug of war . Do I cross the பாகப் பிரிவினை line . Should I stay with my step ma in law or do I belong to Jayamma’s side of the family. The battle was long drawn . So also the competition as to who was more brightly decked out.  Yes gold and silk had to be bought every year and shown off every year. All that stopped when Jayamma passed away . We became middle class and blended  well with everyone. 

                      Come let us all visit the temple before the Uthsava Murthy starts for our home. It is more auspicious to have darshan  of the Moolavar at the temple when the Uthsava Murthy is still there. So off we go , leaving our chappals at home. Cross the road you reach the madil wall which is alongside மேற்கு மாட வீதி.  Along the wall we reach the main entrance  the  Gopura Vaasal  of The Varadharajar  temple. 

                           It took me many years to get this gyan . We as Hindus are a happy lot . We wish to show our joy and satisfaction to God . That is the reason why we dress in  our best when we visit temples . It is not to show off to our neighbours and friends but to thank God for keeping us in this good place in life.