Vaide’s memories

 The new age mother.            The other day I was returning home from Alwarpet. I got into a share auto that starts either at Luz corner or sometimes from Foreshore Estate.               There was this small child aged about 4 or 5 returning home from school. She was making some noises. Blowing over something in her mouth. . So I turned to watch her. ( well I am an old woman , and that is what I do. )                    She was eating something extremely chilli hot. What was it? Her mother was giving her some red mixture from a Haldiram packet.                Yes half of it was falling inside the auto.             At the Eldams road , Mount Road signal the mother without any hesitation just threw the empty packet on the road.             I had to control...

 The V J cravat.                Right from the end of the 16th century the European gentleman was known for the way he flawlessly tied his cravat.  How neatly he retained it even under oppressing conditions. The noblewomen were supposed to be attracted to its beauty.                   There were different ways of tying it and were given fanciful names like the windfall, waterfall , cascade etc. The snob would give his name to his particular way of tying it.               Why I am suddenly giving you a lesson on European aristocratic dress sense in history.                          Morning walk in the cold?!?! has given me a cough.  So I tied a cravat around my neck then put a saree pin in front of my throat to secure it and yes named it the VJ.             ...

 December poo.       December poo      Come December and along with the Chennai winter 😁, margazhi bhajans and sabha kutcheries there would arrive at the flower shops these humble but colourful flowers. Thickly tied white, pink, light magenta blue and double shade they would look beautiful.               You have to believe me when I tell you that 40 years back we would wear sarees that would go with these flowers.  Flowers would be available only in the mornings. So hope to get matching flowers on the way to office.                Our Malayalee friends would laugh at us. These are just wild flowers where we come from and then they have no scent  they would snigger. We never bothered about that. Some would have it growing in their own houses and bring it tied as a gift.                  Since my children are 3 years apart I...

 Kanchi Avathara Uthsavam (5)                 Before we sit down to have our high lunch let me take you to Desigan and Sundari  mama mami ‘s side of the bungalow. Other than the  2 daughters they have 3 sons. All married and with children . They would all function as a single unit. All cousins and second cousin ‘s children ( Desigan mama’s brother’s grandchildren) upto a certain age would always be fed earlier by one of the ladies. No difference as whose child or whose mom. Yes a successful joint family.                   Some  from the neighbourhood would bring us cool iced water. ( that was the age before our mineral water bottles) One year some one even brought rose milk. This tradition of looking after pilgrims ( that is us) is ingrained in the Indian psyche.                     The cook and his entourage bring in d...

 Kanchi Varadhar Thiru Avathara Uthsavam (4)                    The Avathara Uthsava Mandapam attached to the Govindaraja  bungalow is richly and traditionally decorated.  Colourful canopy on the road.                     All family members are present there outside.  . Married ladies in 9 yards saree , married men in panchakachcham . Caste marks on their forehead. Most boys wear the 4 yards dhoti and girls the saree. Everyone has an offering in their hands . The family head will offer silk clothes . Others , fruits , flowers , and dry fruits. Everything is on bamboo , wooden ,silver ,copper or brass trays . No  plastic anywhere.                      Keen ears and eyes scan the end of the road . The Lord has stopped enroute  at various houses on request hence his slow pace. As soon as the sound of a ...

 Kanchi Varadhar Avathara Uthsavam (3)               The order of paying obeisance at any Perumal temple is Dwajasthambam first ,then Garudan then Thayar  and next Perumal . All other Sannidhis of Narasimhar , Ramar,  Alwars the Gurus like Ramanuja and Desikar later.                     The Varadharaja temple teems with history. Ramanujar before shifting to Srirangam , Desigar , Ramanujar ‘s Guru Thirukachchi Nambi , his right hand man Kurathalwan  all are from here or nearby areas and have been associated with this Temple. So  you can satisfy yourself fully only on an unrushed visit , taking time to go round the Alwar Praharam leisurely.                     Now  we enter the Thayar’s Sannidhi. Perundevi  Thayar . Or if you translate, she is  Mahalakshmi . Extremely beautiful . Rich jewels adorn her . We ...

 Kanchi Varadhar, Thiru  Avathara Uthsavam (2)                            You enter  through the  main Gopuram and on your right you see the Vasantha mandapam . Now famously known as the Aththi Varadhar  Mandapam . What a Hullabaloo! What crowds  last year.  . I distinctly remember the year 1979 July . Jayamma, my husband and myself we caught a bus at Broadway and got down in front of our house at Kanchi . Freshened up . We entered as usual from the front Gopuram . No elaborate arrangements. Yes some police presence inside to regulate the queue. We joined the queue  near the Dwajasthambam . Sun in the sky was our only deterrent. We had darshan within an hour . I was cribbing about this long wait  and hot sun. 😅. Went on to have the Puliyodharai we had brought . ( Always a share for Pankaji mami) .  After a short nap we returned to Chennai .  Contrast it with last...

 Kanchi Varadhar Thiru Avathara Uthsavam(1)       I  was married into this traditional Iyengar family in 1976  September.  Even 8 months later  I was still living with my parents. My husband was stationed in Bombay and he was the one trying for transfer back to Madras. 😅.                          Grandma in law and he wrote to me that since their family temple function at Kanchi was nearing I had to attend it alone . They would not be able to come down as it was impossible to get leave.               So I caught a bus at Broadway  early morning  of the Sri Devaraja Swami Thiru Avathara Uthsavam day in  April.    Minimum jewellery , heeding   my own Amma’s hyper caution messages . Cotton saree , as it is the month of Chithirai and you cannot expect any sea breeze at Kancheepuram.        ...

 Adventure Evening.          No not the sports variety. No jungle hike, cross country walk or adventure sport.                         Walking with little Anisha from home to the library and back during the evening . 😁.                      First hurdle is crossing the 10 th avenue . No ,buses don’t ply on this road, even so due to Sangeetha hotel, Grace supermarket and pillar you have to be alert. In a few years someone may be holding my hand to help me cross this  road . Mindful of the fact that I have a small child clutching my hand I did the Bharatanatyam postures with just one hand.               Then Anisha had to let go of my hand to wave to her friends on 9 th avenue . Hey you left out the vegetables shop Patti I reminded her. Wave, wave and clutch.           ...

 Thoughts from the supermarket.                  Here I am only the third person on the queue on a Sunday at the billing counter. Am I not lucky.                   Two minutes later I find no progress. Lifting my eyes I see that the first customer’s wife has joined him with her cellphone . Every second there are discussions over the phone. Probably checking all India prices? Whatever . The man looks at his card his mobile and protracted arguments with billing girl . Goods on counter , back in cart and so on. My temper is rising. Foolishly I had thought I could rush home and cook lunch.                       To even my temper I start a conversation with the woman in front of me. Slight of built, middle aged,  short , darker side of brown . Looks somewhat out of place in this crowd. What is she buying? There are about 20 carto...

 #வெயிலோடு_உறவாடி              Nostalgia is all about remembering those care free days , specially the continuous holidays that was our summer school vacation.                One such summer holiday was almost snatched from us.               The year was 1966. My elder brother was in the 8th, me in the 7 th and younger two brothers  in the 5th and 3 rd.             Appa and his regiment have been posted to Bikaner in Rajasthan. So it is good bye to Chennai for us. He comes down to our Ashoknagar  home. We get our TC s from school and start packing.                          While the elders bother  about the logistics we enjoy the long train ride to Delhi and then from  Delhi to Bikaner.                    ...

 #வெய்யிலோடு_விளையாடி             I know my Bikaner post yesterday wasn’t noticed by many.             Even so let me try again without losing heart           So the summer of 1966 saw us alternating between strict coaching classes and happy indoor and outdoor  games  during the week and still happier zoo visits every Sunday.             Come Summer of 1967 , we are on a very long journey with more train changes than you can count on your one hand.  In fact from the desert  Bikaner to the hill resort Shillong .               Beautiful beautiful Shillong , pleasant and green . No electricity in the colony where we are relocated.                We have written our annual exams at Bikaner and started our journey. So we are expecting a long summer holiday.    ...

 #இறைவனிடம்_பேசிய_தருணங்கள்   The language.          What  remains etched in my mind is Our Lady’s and Holy Angels schools. All those Anglo Indian girls praying in the Chapel.           So you would find me buying flowers from my meagre resources and kneeling before Our Lady and The Son  ,  genuflecting and repeating    “Our Father “ with a lot of fervour , all for good marks in the exams.            At home our Trichy Patti’s visit meant that we would be taught some simple Sanskrit shlokas.             The pull of the English language , no not the Christian religion was so great that even for years after I had left that school it was always Our Father repeated in multiples of 9 times till what I prayed for was granted.             After our Patti it was our  Appa who taught us those  Shanti Man...

#Sunday_Topic                    I have seen my fair share of deaths in my family.           2006 my father in law . Not much impact on my psyche . 2007 . My husband and mother in quick succession. It changed my life for ever.             I was not left with much time to mourn them. With my father in law’s passing away my step mother in law and with my mother’s passing my father came to live with me.           My job took me from home early and I returned late. That meant I had to get up before dawn . Prepare for my son and the elders. Keep breakfast and lunch on the table , snacks in boxes and leave by 7.45.          Evening tea had to be prepared. So every evening I would phone my step mother in law  to remind her. Progressive dementia. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic. Two extremely opposite charac...

 #சென்னை            Proudly claiming that I am a Chennaiite. I may not have been born here , that aside I have early school memories and  maximum life experiences only here.               My earliest memory is of being awakened by my mother at 6am to the sounds of the bugle  as the National flag was hoisted on the ramparts of Fort St. George.                Evenings accompanied by an orderly my younger brother and I would be there at 6 pm to watch and salute as the flag was lowered.                    The same orderly took me on bicycle to my school at Parry’s corner. St. Columbans. No memory of Parry’s corner from that period.               Later as Appa was transferred to J&K/ Ladakh regions  , we shifted house to T Nagar , near Sun theatre. Two of us are now in Holy An...

 #சண்டே_ஸ்பெஷல் #வாவா_வசந்தமே                        My habit is to walk on the road at least thrice in a day.     Morning it is to the gym , or yoga or plain walking . Then on the way back it is vegetables and flowers.  Mid day to the bank , nearby Anjaneya temple and grocery shop. Why bank ? No I am not a big industrialist. 😁Only to speak with my old friends.  Evenings to the religious class where we would read out aloud. Any time I get the itch to shop you will find me at Pondy Bazaar. Completely dependent on the share autos.                      Even before the Janata curfew was announced  and gyms were closed my son put a stop to my footloose activities. So in fact I am inside the house for more than 3 weeks already.                        More than these goings and comings ...

 #ஸ்வீட்_கொரொனா_காபி                Dalgona coffee seems to be on everyone’s lips. Either sipping it or talking about it. So I took the help of Google to find out what it was all about.                  The recipe was hauntingly familiar.                    When returning from school I would walk with 2 punjabi sisters . Their house was in a place called Whispering Pines . I got into the habit of staying and playing at their house  and reaching home long after my brothers.                    The pull of their house was that it was a majority women household. At home I had 3 brothers . Inspite of or because of her , Amma gave the home a masculine shade. Of course my brothers tattled to my parents why I was not coming home with them. So I was banned from going to the Punjabi household everyday....

 #Sunday special வீட்டுத் தோட்டம்               It was in 1965 when my father was somewhere in Ladakh ,that we had the grihapraveasam of our house in Kodambakkam Pudur aka AshokNagar. Single storeyed , small house set in almost 3 grounds of land.                When his leave was next sanctioned we were introduced to the joys of gardening. He left out a small footpath, a tennis court area and the rest of the land in front of the house was divided into 4  , one for each of us children then aged between 8 and 12. The back and sides were our mother’s domain.                 We had keerai, avarai, beans, ladies finger etc. Healthy competition. Two coconut trees in the front. Our mother had a lot of flowering plants  December, kanakambaram , malli , one sweetest smelling rose and more varieties of vegetables .               ...

 #கண்ணதாசன்பாடல்வரிகள் Parama sivan Kazhuthil Irunthu Paambu Kettathu  Garuda Sowkiyama Yaarum Irukum Idathil Irundhu Kondaal Ellam Sowkyame Garudan Sonnadhu Athil Artham Ullathu................                      If in the 1990s you were walking from Ranganathan street down on Rameswaram Road and heard this song from an apartment sung in a male voice , then you can safely assume that my parents had just left after visiting me.😁                       My mother was that typical Mel thattu mamiyar usually caricatured in Tamil movies.                        All her conversations would go like this...                       Why have you not bought a car yet, look at your brothers they have already gone through 3 cars.           ...

 #பள்ளிப்பிராயத்திலே Taming our own  dragon.      Appa is some where on the border with China while Amma and we four children are here in Chennai(Madras). We have just shifted to our own house at Ashok Nagar.       The year is 1965 -66 . Appa has good news for us . He has been given a peace posting at Bikaner and we would all be together. Only fly in the ointment is that we would have to learn Hindi before going there. The elder two of us are admitted in a Hindi class at Moosa sait street TNagar.  One lady taking tuitions at home. My school is in Pondy  Bazaar so I get on 12 no. Bus to the bus stand. My elder brother studies at Santhome . I don’t know his logistics. Anyway he was always bus route savvy.              Going home from class we would walk via Madleys Road,  crossing the railway gate. Then Route 49 was introduced just for us from TNagar to Pillar.  This post is however not about ho...

 #அப்பா                  Yes as Vijiraja  says I am an Appa gondu.😁 and proud of the fact.                      Last October when Appa passed away at age 96 , the West Mambalam Public Health Centre conducted a remembrance meeting.                             While the doctors remembered him for his jovial nature , the nurses remembered him for the extra care he took about their welfare. Salaries upgraded , nurses family quarters, crèche etc . The handymen remembered him as the know all. The one to give a cost effective solution to all those electrical, plumbing and miscellaneous worries. The ayahs remembered him with love and the sweepers , how he would not tolerate even a speck of dust. The administration remembered him as the man with the powerful voice . One man who could change the mood at a meeting ...

 Saturday !!               After reading Raji’s post about sutta kaththirikkai I had to write  my own sutta tale.                Nendiram pazham. Yes the raw ones you make chips or curries. To eat as a fruit the peel has to become almost black.               Long back in the 70’s my almost Royal Malayalee colleague told me that in Kerala nendiram pazham is a breakfast dish. To make it more digestible it is fired like a corn cob over the stove. The peel becomes black from all sides .             Cool remove the peel wash hands and the fruit or some one will point out  the black ash.              Add bura sugar or nattu sugar . This time I got Parry’s  natural sugar.  Only my son was going on asking me what I was doing with “Brown sugar “😅 Yes it says natural brown sugar on the pack....

 #வாப்பா         Vapa and Badrunnisa  tried to find ways to come closer to me. I was always suspicious of them . Would they alienate me from my Appa . When I asked my Appa this , he just laughed. No , no one can do that, he said.           I suppose you do realise that they have lost a son who was just your age . Let them be happy just seeing you.             Fate had other things in store for me.            Suddenly one day  Appa had a paralytic stroke. Vapa and Badrunissa took complete charge of everything .  Appa , me and our household.               Now I started calling her aunty. Back home  from the hospital Appa needed physiotherapy . Later someone to walk with him as he progressed  with faltering steps. Vapa would come back from his job and do everything he could.         ...

 Picture story 3             She was the darling of her parents eyes . Fully spoilt by  two sets of cosseting grand parents . The only grandchild of the house . Her wish was law .           Little Anaya took everything as her due . Her grand parents too said in her hearing , what else will they  spend on, she heard this often enough.            The newest toys , gadgets , games . Dresses from abroad. The number of her shoes all took up half the space in the home.             All becoming useless and outgrown within a few months and replaced at once.              One evening she was at her friend Charu ‘s house for her Birthday party. She  could not accept the fact that Charu was wearing just the same dress as herself. She put on a long face and did not enjoy the games.          ...

 Amman temples.              There are so many small Amman temples dotting our city roads almost at street level.               I would  oten wonder how do they get the funds for the elaborate pandals and festivities that they put on during the Adi month.                 For the past few days I am lighting a lamp at this very tiny temple on Arya Gowda road next to the flour mill.                  There are always people around it. Praying ,lighting lamps, circumambulating or dropping money in the hundi.                Even though constrained for space it has multiple deities. Pillaiyar, Hanumar, Kali, Durgai, Siva linga with Nandi and  many Nagas .                So even a small roadside temple has its regulars it seems.   ...

 Written on my timeline last year for Mother’s Day,                         The house is over run by silkworms.  Inhale deeply and you can smell wine fermenting. Coffee berries with skin ,out in the sun to dry.              Suddenly the air is filled with oaths and four letter words . Someone visiting has been stung by a bee. Yes there are beehives in boxes just when you enter the garden.                 We are trying our hand at extracting  juice out of jackfruit,  as the variety we have on our hands is extremely fibrous.                   What is all this you ask. We are in the middle of Appa’s  experiments and trials.                      Living with Appa during our growing up years we didn’t have a dull moment.  ...

 Reposted from my timeline . Last year’s Father’s Day memory.                          Oct 31 the year 1984. I am 6 1/2  months pregnant with my son who is to be a huge baby.           On a whim I decide to wear 2 sets of new gold bangles to office. I show them off to my lady friends . New design extremely sparkling.            Office is at Broadway between those cycle shops. Suddenly there are shouts on the road and all shops start downing their shutters.              PM Indira Gandhi has been shot. No way ! we say in disbelief. It must be the other way round. That strong women must have shot some intruder.                News comes trickling in. Yes it’s official. More so the news that bus and train services have been   completely stopped. Autos are off the road. No ricksha...

Picture story 2          He may have been brilliant in his career but she was always the one with common sense. While he would get flustered she would calmly give her opinions on serious matters at home.         She would always be proved right. Do you think he would accept that. What about his position in society. . He could never be wrong. He could never allow her to be right .           Years later with their children away busy with their lives , they are left alone with only themselves for company. Walking on the road in the morning , going round the park footpath , she would always choose non controversial subjects for conversation.           Look at that flower. There is a stone on your path . Slightly breezy  day and so on. Once home she would  change the conversations to what to cook and eat , what to watch on tv , which character to support in the serial . All...

Happy Daughter’s Day.               The sound of children’s laughter fills our home , end  July to mid August every year. That is the time my daughter Sumitra  visits me . Her in-laws may have had a long stay with her but knowing that I have too many responsibilities here she would always come just to see me. Then for a few days go on to her in laws place.  When she arrives , at once the neighbourhood children make a beeline to our house. Yes really missing everything this year.                She has turned into that rounded personality . Deferential with her in-laws , free with me and her brother , childlike with her child,  companiable with her hubby.              A good mother who initiates her daughter into everything possible. A good wife who takes on some of her husband’s responsibilities. A  good daughter and daughter in law who always rings...

 #இறைவனிடம்_பேசிய_தருணங்கள்          Long conversations and protests.                      My daughter had finished her MBA from PSG Coimbatore and had just started working in Chennai. So 22 is a good age to start looking for a groom I felt . As my relatives circle is very limited I gave an advertisement in The Hindu and Narasimhapriya.                        One month on the job and my daughter phoned me from office in panic. They had gone through her  medical test reports and had found that she had TB . To meet Dr. Raj  B Singh at Apollo.                         My own mil died at the age of 22 from TB . My step mil had part of her lung removed after TB.                                  Jus...